What was I thinking?

Here's a slice of reality for anyone following this blog who thinks everything is all rosy and well - or who thinks I've got my little Mormon colored glasses cranked up way past reasonably happy.

Things are difficult around the Beorningstead lately.  The last few weeks have been crazy busy what with Bry planning and then running YM's Camp, work week at Mom and Dad Burnett's and trying to get the Ft. Jackson house cleaned out so as to be ready for drop-of-the-hat walk throughs.  I say we have been crazy busy, but aside from getting the Ft. Jackson house cleaned out (thank you mom, Lue, Molly & Chrissy!) we have made absolutely no headway on the Beorningstead AT ALL.

 We've got 3 weeks left of summer to get the back roof done.  Bry is planning a dormer and thinks he's got the plans pretty well hammered out.  He bought lumber today and the long term forecast predicts about 4 clearish days between now and Saturday.  Perfect.  Except he doesn't have any help lined up and several of the men who could and would help are either out of town or leaving town this week.  Part of me wants to just say - forget it.  We'll do the roof next summer BUT

We have thousands of dollars tied up in the bathroom project that cannot be reimbursed from escrow until the bathroom is finished.  The bathroom is under the roof that needs to be replaced.  Without getting that bathroom done, we can't afford the cupboards for the kitchen or our new appliances - washing machine, drier & dishwasher (oh, please, give me a dishwasher!).  In the meantime, I am functioning in a kitchen with seriously inadequate cupboard & counter top space.  This wouldn't be such a big problem except that the kitchen keeps getting filled up with more and more boxes of stuff that magically appear from the Ft. Jackson house as soon as there is room for them.   Some of it is stuff I don't want to keep but haven't had time to sort, some of it is stuff I want to keep but don't have a place for yet and some of it is stuff I need to use right now but can't get unpacked because there's too much else in the way.

There is also a serious mouse problem in the pantry area so all the dried goods and chewable packaging has to be stored in a bin.  I think I could have bought that coveted dishwasher with the money I have spent on bins during this project.  (That bag of dog food right there?  They love it.  Molly stuck her had in to get Ziggy a scoop of food last week and a little mousey ran around on her hand and arm.  Squeeal!  The dog food has been transferred to a bin.)


We're also using the Ft. Jackson house as our own private laundromat.  This is slightly inconvenient.  Especially when the pump or well or something decided to take a break in the middle of a big load today.  This means that on top of everything else, we have to figure out what that problem is and fix it fast before someone actually decides they want to buy the place. 

My studio is a wreck , though I am trying to get that sorted out this week.  (That top photo?  That's my dying table.  It looks worse than that today and it will stay that messy for at least a couple more months.  It just doesn't make sense to move all of the tools out to the tool shed -which is full of bins- or the barn - which is full of scrap metal waiting for a good hauling day- until we've got more finished up inside.)  The kitchen, studio, shower and small bath still need to be painted even though they are now filled up with boxes and other stuff and/or are being used frequently.  The living room still needs its wall board and electrical outlets, switches and light fixtures installed.  The windows all lack sills.

We still have not received a letter of reasonable assurance about Bry's job next year.  In June, he was told he'd be working full time again but with Albany playing games and school districts not having any trusty budget to work with, lots of teachers have been sweating it.  The household account is running low and I'm counting on a big infusion on September 15th but what if that doesn't come?

It is all very overwhelming.  I wigged out today.  Yelled at my husband, even though none of this is specifically his fault.  He grumbled back.  Maxx threw the kitten on the ground and was sent to time out and got a spanking when he wigged out about time out.

Nerves are frayed.  Tempers tight.  I'm trying hard to resist my stress eating/spending behaviors.  I can feel my will power crumbling fast.  We all really just need a few hours to relax on the porch.  And a case of Ghiradelli - one of the dark chocolate varieties.  That might help.

1 Comment

1. Kim Deister on August 10, 2010 at 3:34 PM

   Wow, Ginny. I feel for you and I wish I was closer to you so I could offer myself for your use as often as possible. If there is anything I understand, it is stress. Seriously, though, if there is anything you need, and if I can do it, I am here!